Here's to 2012 and all it's (and YOUR) potential

Resolutions.

They're a funny thing. Always start out with good intentions, then somehow turn mucky. (I'm betting by now, a week into the year, a lot of people have already messed up)

Do they really start out with good intentions, though? Seems to me they often start out with self loathing, mixed with a little envy ("I should be more like her.") Then somewhere amidst the negativity we come up with a list of roughly 3-10 things that, id by some miracle of God or willpower, we complete, we will somehow be "BETTER." Somehow, whole. Then, when we fail (as we most often do) we hate ourselves, hide the resentment and laugh it off. We make excuses like "I was too busy," "my resolution was impossible, anyway," or "no one ever reaches their New Year goals."

For me, it always sucks not sticking to things. I don't like doing things half-assed, but I do. A lot. (especially lately) It's one of my most common habits. (resolution? ha. ha.) Even though it happens a lot, and I almost always have a "good" excuse, I get angry with myself each time. Legitimately angry. Then I begin to belittle myself again, and feel worthless. NOT OKAY.

Almost everyone I talk to admits they really do feel a lot worse about not sticking to their goals than they let on. Most say that when they fail, they give up altogether, in hopes that it'll stick next year. One day of eating popcorn and chocolate in bed watching movies and their ENTIRE diet & fitness plan is ruined FOR. EV. ER.

c'mon. you know you said it in that voice, too.

I think part of the problem here, is the way we make our resolutions to begin with.

Why are our resolutions almost always based on what we find wrong in ourselves, and what we need "fixed?" If reaching these goals is what will make us so much better, is that why we take it so hard if (when) we fail? Why not make goals that stem from wanted a real improvement in our lives, rather than "fixing" something that's wrong with us?
Instead of "I vow to lose 35 pounds so I can look amazing when my ex-boyfriend sees me this summer. I HAVE to look better than his new fling or I'll die." why not "I'm going to take small steps to getting healthier by walking more each day and packing a healthy lunch for work. I'll feel better and have more energy, and maybe be able to buy some cute, smaller summer clothes!"

I'm not saying it's easy to change our mindset, I know this as well as anyone. But maybe another resolution this year should be to be nicer to ourselves.

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential..
Ellen Goodman