Of course, that has to start with us. People can only love us if we believe we’re lovable. You may not fully believe it if you:
- Constantly compensate for who you are with apologies, hedging words, or clarifications for your actions—like you always owe other people explanations.
- Beat yourself up when you make even the slightest mistake.
- Think about your flaws and feel overwhelming disgust or anger.
- Cling to people who see the best in you and find it hard to maintain those positive feelings when they walk away.
- Tell yourself that you’re being selfish whenever you consider meeting your own needs.
- Repeatedly do self-destructive things, or make choices that show you don’t respect or value yourself.
- Don’t consider your needs a priority.
- Always find a reason to talk yourself out of your dreams as if perhaps you don’t deserve to have them.
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